Posted tagged ‘Who’s Who’

It’s only use is as a door stopper

April 11, 2015

Well the questionnaires have been sent out for next year’s edition and yet again I have been overlooked by the publishers of that esteeming reference rag, Who’s Who. A few Goodfella colleagues in the trade that are made men in the pages of the book received their yearly package asking them of any amendments or additions they would like to make of their entries. Yours truly won’t be in there sandwiched between, in the whose whoosers opinion, more notable JWs and yours truly is unperturbed. Do I really want to be in a tome that includes my old nemesisters Louise Doughty and Ceri Radford? That would be a sorry state of affairs so I’m glad to be uninvited to the WW party.

There are a few issues that I have against Who’s Who. The first thing is the title. Shouldn’t there be a question mark at the end? I wasn’t grammar school educated but come on, who’s zoomin’ who here? We won’t complicate matters by mentioning the word whom. But whom is the invisible elephant in the room. Then there’s the boring entries themselves. Too many figures just list their achievements and are devoid of personality by not listing hobbies under the recreation section.

So let’s be recreational. As dear old Bob Ross would say before planting a huge tree on his canvas “Shoot”.

The football magazine Shoot which I read religiously in the 70s and 80s, sadly now only available online, used to have a feature where it interviewed the footballers of the day using a simple formatted question and answer style. The questions remained the same throughout. After the customary personal details of height/weight/colour of eyes/ it got recreational with subjective questions.

Favourite Bird? A raven.

Favourite Police song? Do,do,do,da,da,da, de,de,de.

Favourite electrical appliance? Curling tongs.

Favourite episode of Magnum pi? The one where Big Tam has to prove Rick isn’t seeing a ghost.

Favourite item in a joke shop? The telescope that leaves a black eye.

These and other questions of the same elk (sic) give some indication of the character and life of the individual. The Who’s Who gang that simply log their achievements lack the warmth and charm of those vintage Shooters. With an allegedly 33,000 people featured in the current Who’s Who there will be quite a lot of mundane reading in it and obscure bodies. A veritable roll call that will have you thinking to yourself- Who’s that?

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