Posted tagged ‘Traffic jams’

King of the Jams

November 6, 2010

No one can dispute that this is the age of the car. And cars begat traffic. And traffic begets traffic jams. Anyone who has seen the Michael Douglas movie Falling Down can emphasize with his frustration while waiting in a long jam. He leaves his vehicle on the road, exacerbating the situation and hot tails it away from the congestion to seek a cold drink. In real life we are more conservative and wait for the stand still to pass. Waiting, dehydrating…

An entrepreneurial whizz kid, although he’s pushing forty-four, devised a plan to make some cash from the swelling jams of automobiles, reasoning that in every losing position, there’s a winning solution. While rummaging in his loft he found one of the inventions that time forgot and also forgot the word for this defining moment. Ulrika? Urethra? Fandabi-dozi? Nope, the word was lost. Fittingly, you could say, as he was in the loft. His eyes dwelt on an unwanted, unloved Sodastream dispenser that sat disconsolate. “Today you go to work” he told the carbonated beverage system.

Investing in a horde of paper cups the drinks magnet set sail on his bike to sell refreshments to thirsty drivers. A bike can easily dissect and bypass stationary cars and this dextrous mobility was used to dispense drinks to the drought mouths of motorists on long, hot, traffic-jam laden, summer days. Unhappy drivers had no choice except Sodastream as the cyclist had cornered the market and somehow side-stepped the Monopolies Commission. “Have you any cola, buddy?” was a popular question asked while he did his rounds. Only for myself would reply the vendor.


Autumn came and Sodastream was out of season. Third quarter revenue fell in the fall. The Sodastream was banished once more to the outer reaches of the highest floor. His spirits broken, not helped by burning his tongue on a too hot cup of soup. Supra! Subarua! Scooby-doobra! Still can’t recall the Archimedean word of discovery, alas. Now he treads lightly with a huge pot of broth in his bike basket and his mobile soup kitchen retails to the shivering tail-backed line of drivers in a jam.