Posted tagged ‘The Sun on Sunday’

Sunshine and Trouble

February 20, 2012

Stringer Bell famously commented that when the product is weak changing the name is a useful tool in economics. His philosophy seems to have been mirrored by the Rupert Murdoch organisation as it is about to launch The Sun on Sunday newspaper, which is the News of the World in all but name. The NOTW infamously collapsed last year due to phone tapping crimes. Sales of the new tabloid are expected to be high as sensational news stories are a circulation winner. Fancying a job as a freelancer with this rag I sought out some sensational stories to pitch to Rupert.

To begin with, one of my neighbours that I see most days has two dogs, one big, one small (although I can do the Cruyff turn I don’t know the breeds of dogs) that he takes for a walk each morning. His opening comment is always about the dogfight that occurred when the dogs woke up.
“The small dog battered the big dog this morning.”
Sometimes this can be- “The big dog battered the small dog this morning.”
Before I meet him I take bets to myself over which dog will be the current top dog. The violence in this story might appeal to the Sun on Sunday reader added to which they will take sides in the uncertain contest. This could lead to domestic squabbles as brother fights brother or sister-in-law fights mother-in-law over which dog is their favourite: Spitfire or Messerschmitt.

Moving onto more serious matters in society, I’ve discovered an occupation where there is a degree of unfairness in working conditions. This is in the Lollipop people profession. I’d imagine they are all paid the same yet some have it easier than the other. Some Lollipopians are given berths at traffic lights which make the job safer and simpler to negotiate the crossing of the road than the ones that must stop the traffic by stepping onto the street using their road sense. I’m sure the latters nerves are fractured and they wish they had a cushy button pushing number. This dubious employment practise could be a big investigation for the SOS to lead with, pitting themselves against the Sunday Times insight team as the best investigative journalists.

With these two scoops up my sleeve I was almost ready to ring Rupert; I hacked into his phone earlier so I know the number. I just needed one more tale to tell. And it had to be a big one. From out of the black and into the red, one of my sources told me of the outlaw lady, trouble with a capital T that rode into Sharktown freeing the ladies and horses from captivity. They’ll buy this one for a dollar. The Sun on Sunday will be a red top but cover to cover it will be filled with ladies similarly attired like Pink.

Postscript: Love Pink (not Pinkie). Uploaded the video first and worked the script around her. As you do.