Posted tagged ‘Swiss banking principles’

Swagbaggers treasure hunt

September 3, 2011

The days of using Swiss banks to evade paying tax are over. While still upholding the secrecy of their clients, the Swiss will begin to tax existing account holders between 19% and 34% and send the monies to the UK government. An up front payment of £384 million will be winged to Britain to compensate for some of the hidden, undeclared taxes. Financial experts predict a vast amount of depositors leaving Switzerland for other tax-havens like Singapore.

Swiss banks also provide safety deposit boxes in their vaults for various eminent items: documents, passports, gemstones, precious metals, currency. In some cases these safes will be loaded with the ill-gotten gains of crime. The Swiss ask no questions and the criminals feel secure about the rigorous security measures that make theft of their spoils improbable.

I’m still not convinced of this as numerous Hollywood films have shown that burglary in these locations is commonplace. And if they can break into Fort Knox how easy must it be to slip into your block. Not everyone can afford the biometrics of a retina scan at the front door to gain access.

Without sounding alarmist or anything but robberies are on the increase. There’s an absolute Tattenham Corner bottleneck of robbers outside your window jockeying for position. Even robbers are being robbed after they’ve robbed; there’s no honour between thieves nowadays. And the secondary plunderers are no Robin Hoods, they‘re hoodlums. Your stolen TV will be hawked in a pub or crushed in a vault.

Which begs the question, where do we put our valuables? A home has a million possibilities for concealing goods. You know under the bed isn’t as silly as it sounds. Most cat burglars have poor joints with all the climbing over roofs so they try not to bend their knees unnecessarily. Your beautiful pint glasses should be safe as houses down there so long as they don’t lose their bottle and tinkle together with fright.

Important data discs can easily be hidden in the cover of a Howard the Duck DVD. While if you’re flush, rolls of cash can be stuffed inside rolls of toilet paper. I wouldn’t worry too much about the Bechstein Grand piano being taken; most robbers don’t have a Pickford’s van as a get away vehicle.

In closing, to make it harder for the thieves, it is advisable to locate and utilise unusual hiding spots for your loot. It is important you remember the whereabouts of these places. Over the years I’ve lost a small fortune by continually forgetting the secret chambers. Though it is pleasing to come across, by accident, an old hiding place. Last week I rediscovered an old dusty pint glass with £20 in it. Trouble is I’d halved the £20 for super safety and don’t know where the other half is. Still, I’ve got the glass and it’s half-full.