Posted tagged ‘swarm’

The Willow Farm massacre

July 18, 2013

In the beginning the pests only ate the crops. Then they evolved and now they have a taste for all flesh, especially human flesh.

“Run. Make for the highway.”

The last two remaining humans in Willow Farm desperately tried to keep ahead of the mutated insects that were feasting over the last of their prey. All other wildlife in the town had the same idea and there was a mass exodus of beasts beating a path out of there. The young man and woman hoped to find rescue from a passing car that would take them away from this B-movie nightmare.

—-

“BLUEEERRRGGGHHH”

The flurry of flies that Long Hair had swallowed while yawning was propelled out his mouth along with a generous amount of bile. He was in a foul mood as insects fleeing town had interfered with the transmission system of his radio. Knocking back a liberal dose of Jamesons whiskey he tried to tune into radio 666’s Metal Chainsaw Show. The last three songs played were-

Black Sabbath- End of the Beginning
Orange Goblin- A Eulogy for the Damned
Genesis- Willow Farm

Suddenly, in front of the car emerged the two young scared runaways from Willow Farm. Not stopping in time Long Hair banged into the youngsters, knocking them down. They got to their feet, still petrified by the danger they’d ran from that they felt no shock or pain from the road traffic accident.

“Help us, mister, please, you need to get us away from here. There’s a swarm of insects heading this way.”

“Swarming insects are edible, aren’t they?” asked Long Hair.

The girl was unrepentant in her apprehension. “Mister, you don’t understand. These are deadly flesh-eating creatures. They’ve destroyed our town and we’re the last of the townsfolk left alive. The swarm has wreathed a trail of devastation that is like something out of a cheap horror movie. You have seen horror movies, haven’t you?”

“I’ve seen Rob Zombie and Cannibal Corpse. Does that count?” said the driver, deadpan, “Anyway, can’t you just swat them?”

“There’s too many in the horde. Try as you might, swords, sabres and cutlasses are next to useless as their fury is unrelenting.”

swarm

A buzzing noise was getting clearer and louder. The two youngsters dived into Long Hair’s car and cowered in the back seat. Long Hair got out to look at the impending menace. In the air they darkened the sky. They were almost upon him when he took a large swig from his bottle of Jamesons fearing nothing, not even fear. The huge black cloud of terror descended on the solitary figure. The savage flock burrowed into Long Hair’s hair and enveloped his torso with their licks and bites and stings. They thought they were about to cut another notch on their bedstead of death but had reckoned without one significant factor.

The Jamesons had reacted with the acids in the stomach. From the pit of Long Hair’s bowels rose a vile, gassy waste that is one of the side effects of the alcohol. Gathering pace like a lightning guitar solo the gushing lava rushed to the surface and was violently expelled in the mother of all belches. Fifteen hundred locust in the epicentre dropped down dead instantly. They were the lucky ones. The survivors, suffering from nausea and dizziness, distraught, packed their bags and headed for the hills with their tails between their legs. Proving once more that chemical weapons are instruments of mass destruction.

Long hair kneeled down and picked up a handful of the downed beasts. He proceeded to wolf them down his gullet. In the back seat the youngsters tentatively looked out the window.

“Bring out the Jamesons, Supper’s ready.” said Long Hair.

Cast

Long Hair…as Himself
Young woman…Scarlett Johansson
Young man.. Daniel Day-Lewis

Directed by Steven Spielberg
Produced by Rick Rubin
Written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez based on a story by Nabokov
Wardrobe by Ikea
Sound effects by Monsieur Joseph Pujol

No insects were harmed in the making of this picture.