Posted tagged ‘Sky’

AN ESP(a)N(a)..ICE ONE

September 9, 2009

Stepping into the scuffed shoes of Setanta is the American owned ESPN UK. The lucrative sports pay TV market now has two big cats on its doorstep and the square go for the meat could be vicious. The Murdoch owned Sky organisation is up against a better product than the unlucky Irish operator.

Alarm bells had been ringing at Setanta for awhile and perceptive Atlantic executives using perception of an almost psychic nature- after their ears had become used to the bell ringing- filled the vacated space. Insiders say that luck was not involved in this venture and instead an employee with ESP at ESPN foresaw the move.

I remained sceptical about this tale and although I have seen hypnotist and magician shows in the past fortune telling never was my cup of tealeaves. However, if they had named their science “misfortune” telling I would believe them. As an aside I saw a really bad magician who invited me and another man to the stage. Soon he pick pocketed our wallets before returning them and to quote the short sleeved Daniels “Now that’s magic!” However when I went home I discovered I had the other guy’s wallet and was a cool fiver richer.

Barnstorming ESPN’s offices in London I demanded an interview with the charlatan masquerading as a psychic. I was informed she was a Spanish woman who lives in New Orleans so I booked a flight to the French Quarter to speak to Claire Voy Yant.

When did you first notice you had special mind blowing powers?

When I was at the circus and I watched the trapeze artists and I could see in the future that if I did that I would fall.

Amazing! Who will win this year’s Premiership?

A bit hazy but I predict Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool or Arsenal. And um…err…Man City.

Astounding! What are the numbers in this week’s Euro millions draw?

That’s an easy one. They are…

At that my tape recorder stopped (and if you believe that you’ll believe in Santa Claus) but I have memorised the numbers. Next week I look forward to driving my new Maserati down to my new Penthouse where I will subscribe to both Sky and ESPN. Almost contented I only have to track down a blue vinyl Bohemian Rhapsody and it’s mine. Being so greedy I might even buy two.

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