Posted tagged ‘Skid Solo’


July 9, 2012

The hot sand was forming sand castles in Long Hair’s engine as he powered along the desert floor. Not eco-friendly in any way the hirsute leather-clad driver barked that the whole world should be concrete. He was probably angry because he had just drowned the last drop of Jamesons. Ten empty bottles lay at his feet. Still, he could pick up the transmission of the Metal Chainsaw Show on his radio. The last three songs played were-

Iron Maiden- Powerslave
Slipknot- The Blister Exists
Killswitch Engage- Reckoning

Long Hair drove over a large dune becoming airborne in the process. When he fell back to earth he found himself and vehicle on concrete. The first thing he saw was blue flags being waved furiously in front of him. Stewards were swearing at him.

“Get out of the way, slow coach.”

Just then a couple of super-charged machines went hurtling past Long Hair at breakneck speed. This was the first time Long Hair had been overtaken and he wasn’t happy.

“A bloody race, is it? If they want blood, they’ve got it.” He shrieked.

The sand in the carburettor was burning up as Long Hair gained on the leaders. All warning symbols flashed violently on his dashboard as he cut through the air. He passed a car and moved into second place just behind the champion: a driver called Skid Solo.

Skid was fast, honest and a clean driver. Apart from being very fast Long Hair wasn’t any of the other things. Long Hair reined in Skid and only a few seconds were between them as they reached the last corner.

Skid had the racing line and danced around the bend like a skimming pebble. From his mirrors he saw Long Hair on the dirty side of the track grinding the track into submission. Something had to give and it did. A large boulder broke free from the road under the force of Long hair’s car and catapulted at Skid. Skid ducked and the boulder missed him but he had lost valuable time and Long Hair passed the chequered flag in first place.

On the winner’s podium Long Hair drank like a dynamo and refused to splatter the crowd with his victory drinks. Jamesons is too good to waste. Skid was despondently deflated, especially after it was revealed that Long hair was driving with four flat tyres. The F1 mechanics fixed the car up good and Long Hair sped into the desert night with a trunk full of Jamesons. He had no need for the trophy so he gave it to Skid.