Posted tagged ‘SBC Arnica gel’

Pain comes to town

September 17, 2012

The default channel on my TV is the home shopping network, QVC. My wife is a huge fan and good customer of this network. The constant droning of the presenters in the background as I try to concentrate on my reading of the Wall Street Journal can be distracting. Secondary indoctrination has brainwashed me into knowing all the salespersons and their products.

As my wife is a hard working housewife I try not to protest about the bombardment of goods that are regularly shown. It would be futile to try and change the channel anyway as she has the remote in her hand. On her other hand is a phone and if Kipling bags or L’Occitane fragrances are on screen, there is a good chance the hucksters at QVC will be getting a sale.

As you all know I am a renowned tennis player and adequate five-a-side football player. These are the only two sports I play and they keep me in trim. Time has not caught up with me just yet to curtail my athletic activities but recently I have been picking up some slightly niggling injuries. Naturally, reared in a tough housing scheme I fight through the pain barrier without complaining. Well, not when anybody’s looking, anyway.

A leg knock I received last week was taking its time to heal. This was a bit more painful than niggling. My calf muscle was badly sprained. Holding back the agony with hidden grimaces, I didn’t tell my wife about my problem. One has one’s reputation to uphold. We were having a pleasant evening in. I was reading Domino Toppling Weekly and she was watching QVC. And then on came SBC.

Excusing myself I headed to the bathroom. Locking myself in I raided the cabinet above the sink. There it was: SBC Arnica Gel. My hardworking wife bought this from QVC to relieve her aches and pains. I have always been sceptical of the mystical healing properties of this plant. Nevertheless I rolled my trouser leg up and plumped a big glob of the gel on the affected area. Massaging the Arnica into the wound, there was a nice cooling feeling.

Flame On! This thing really works. The pain knew it was beat and decided to leave town with its tail between its legs.
Completely recovered I ran into the living room and jumped backwards onto the couch. Cured by default.