Posted tagged ‘pub singers’

Singing the Blues

March 18, 2010

The sign outside the Old College Bar simply said: Karaoke competition tonight, £20 to the best singer. Owning a pair of golden tonsils I planned on hustling in on a piece of the action because as Paul Newman says in the Color of Money “money won is twice as good as money earned.”

The bar was quite empty with about six customers, only one of them I knew, a huge brute of a man called Hefty. Me and Hefty were nodding acquaintances and we went through our Chinese ritual on seeing one another. Before ordering a drink I decided to check out the toilet. To boost my confidence I always have a run through my scales in the latrine as the acoustics are superb. Doh, ray, me, fah, la, ti, me, so- I let it all rip in there.

My joy was short lived as MaGlumfer had entered the bar. The two best singers in town were about to have another show down. MaGlumfer and me had history that went back farther than the registration period. For me and MaGlumfer read, Borg v McEnroe, Federer v Nadal, Roe v Wade. The patrons in the bar shuffled uneasily on their seats expecting trouble although in big Hefty’s case it was probably because of alimentary canal trouble. (more…)