Posted tagged ‘non-recession industries’

Another cut that wasn’t in the manifesto

May 8, 2010

In a recession there are some industries you can bank on; sex and hairdressing are two of those. I’m not sure if it was Heffner, Raymond or McGregor (google it folks!) who said “sex is constant”. The world’s oldest trade is a steady enterprise with not much fluctuating up and down’s. Similarly -vainglorious lot that we are- nobody can do without hair styling; follically challenged excepted. Thick, luscious hair that can be tailored to our demands does not care a jot about budget deficit’s or falling Sterling.

Everything is cut these days and to follow suit I was in need of a haircut. A friend suggested instead of the traditional barber I upgrade to, dum-de-de-dum-dum-Dummm (fanfare noise), a hairdresser. Oh well cut and blow me down I’ll try anything once, pioneer that I am, so I Christopher Columbesed a booking with a respected Sweeney Todder.

Woody Allen famously said he would like to be reincarnated as Warren Beatty’s fingertips. That is quite touching; however, I would love to be resurrected as David Bowie’s hair. Truly this man has a Hairculean head of hair. It’s been dyed Joseph coloury, shaped Rubikly, styled Ferrarily and still not a hint of recede, grey or balding. DB, who loves ya baby; and a great songwriter too.

My friend told me a fringe benefit of going upmarket was the beautiful female dangling over you smelling of a thousand and one dollars while she crimps your locks. It has to be said that most hairdressers are absolute Helen of Troy’s and with the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end I looked forward to the experience. Sitting on the comfy chair I wondered which one of the lovely Aphrodite’s would be having a shorn at me.

From out of nowhere a male snipper appeared and dangled over me, I shrank in my comfy chair. Reluctantly, small talk ensued and the, to be fair, quite cheery male hairdresser said his favourite song was Bowie’s- Rebel Rebel. He made a big point of saying that the lyric
You’ve got your mother in a whirl
She’s not sure if you’re a boy or a girl

could have been written about him. With my back hairs retreating into a shell I agreed with him. I looked down the queue of waiting customers. The men in the line were mathematically and drastically trying to work out if they were going to get the male dresser; the women in total nonchalance were laid back.