Posted tagged ‘Newton’s Third Law’


May 22, 2010

Every Action has an Equal and Opposite Reaction – Newton’s third law.

This Newton guy knew what he was talking about. For every Borg there’s a McEnroe, for every snake there’s a ladder, for every sneeze there’s a tissue. No matter what (copyright Westlife) field we are talking about there is a nemesis, a difference, a chalk or cheese, an oil or water, an oil painting or a watercolour, out there.

(An oil painting if ever there was one)

Recently my son got engaged and to formalise relations my wife and I met up with the other parents. Being a conservative (quick disclaimer: the JW10 website is apolitical) I stick to the tried and trusted and avoid anything that could change my circumstances. In this instance I had no control and had to meet these complete strangers who will figure largely, if the engagement goes to plan; and the girl is a lovely lass to be sure, in my life in the future.

Me and the other dad got on warmly as did the women. The other guy was of the same kick balling favourites of me i.e. he was a Rangers fan. And we had lots more in common, he had the same absurd sense of humour as me and we seemed to agree on everything. And then I thought this Newton guy is not the genius he’s cracked up to be. His third law is mince; all our actions have an equal same reaction. Me and the other dad both liked Debbie Harry and Queen. Gaining confidence from this I recited excerpts from one of my poems about the Blondie singer.

(A little known Blondie song but beautiful, nonetheless)


They’re a temple
That the Incas couldn’t assemble
Euclidean geometry
With angles of flawless symmetry
They’re the golden grail
Corpses strewn far and wide on the trail

Nothing on Earth is as desirable as this
The most incredible wonder in the universe
I fall to my feet at your throne
Expressing worship of the glory of Blondie’s cheekbones
It’s almost like they’ve been chiselled in stone
The immaculate conception of Blondie’s cheekbones

With much struggle, I was trying to steer the conversation toward the glory of the mighty Queen but my son’s future father-in-law kept going on about Glorious Debbie. And then he came away with the Newtonian the Third statement that made me think we are poles apart. He said in his teenage years his bedroom wall was a shrine to HRH Debbie Harry and multitudes of portraits of this beautiful woman adorned his four walls. What about you, he asked? After awhile, while weighing up the consequences, I said mine was the same. Truth be told, my teenage walls were decked out with the charismatic photographs of Freddie Mercury. Keep this one to yourself. And no, I haven’t written any poems about Freddie…

One day, watch this space, coming your way, in true Newtonian Third, the ode: Freddie’s Teeth.