Posted tagged ‘Kellogg’s’

Cereal Wars

November 25, 2009

Breakfast is the first meal of the day and the most important. Some like it hot but the “coldy” breakfast foods have raised the temperature in their struggle to win the Battle of the Cereals. Billy Joel referenced the Cola Wars- a subject dear to my heart- in his historical epic We Didn’t Start the Fire; this will need to be changed in re-issues to reflect the current cornflake, I mean conflict.

Aggressive advertising to entice floating oatmeal eaters began when the leading producer of convenience foods, Kellogg’s, signed American rapper 50 Cent to sing/rap a new song about their products . Eat my Cereal looks destined for the top spot in the charts and there’s a good chance it will be sung at next year’s Superbowl.


(The big fella after scoffing his Frosties)

Half the song by half a Buck is bleeped out on account of the word count of *bleep*. (Eminem, eat your heart out). What are interesting about the lyrics are the diverse words that rhyme with cereal and fit into the song. Menial, magisterial, bacterial, imperial, genial, custodial, serial (bet that one took him awhile) gubernatorial and my favourite, Presbyterial. Well done, Ten-Bob. Weetabix, not to be outdone, have asked Dollar (80’s pop group) to appear on their adverts singing their classic tune- Weetabix gotta hold on me.

Naturally the milk industry is staying neutral and gave out a Mooted response. A slightly acidic comment, off the record, by an insider said “Who eats cereal dry? Answer-no one. Milk and cereal go together like pepper ‘n salt, fork ‘n knife, tongs ‘n hammer, Dec ‘n Ant.” Bemused I vowed that one morning I will eat my porridge dry ‘n cold.

The supermarket shelves are awash with a massive and diverse cornucopia of cereals. With so many options little wonder there’s a lot of snapping, crackling and popping or tonging ‘n hammering in this market. Cereals have come a long way since their humble beginnings with the vegetarian movement of late nineteenth century. In this aisle of plenty I could not make my mind up what cereal to buy. So the butcher’s and the morning fry-up was the winner.

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