Posted tagged ‘Internet Dating’

Reflections on inflections

June 20, 2013

The old maxim there’s someone for everyone is redundant. There’s now hundreds, nay, thousands of everyones for someone. Romantic entanglements are only a few mouse clicks away. Dating agencies have proliferated on the internet and been taken advantage of by various individuals for different purposes. Some are looking for true love some prefer a more amore fleeting adventure. Women, yes women, under the cloak of anonymity are unchained and use the facility.

Irresistible. Moi?

Lies are not uncommon in the user profile on these pages and fake photographs have been used. Sometimes the photo doesn’t fit the chosen person and the excited expectant dater is in for an almighty fright when Plug walks through the door. Libellously, I’ve even seen some nefarious souls use my copyrighted coyote picture as an enticement. Who could resist Wile E? Now I’m not seeking a stranger soul mate but if I was there is one important criteria I would look for in a woman. I will keep you in suspenders for a moment before telling you.

Obviously, the more desirable the look the better the chance of being selected but as said you need to look past this. Further questions ask what your hobbies are and what kind of person you are looking for. It makes sense if both of you have the same interests, though sometimes opposites attract. Taking for granted that all the facts are correct true matchmaking can be attained. The match wasn’t made in heaven it was made on the internet.

If I ever endeavoured onto the personal ads the thing I would most look for is a nice voice. This is problematic. With no video accompaniment to the profile I would have to imagine what the voice would be like. You really need a nice voice. Think about it, if you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone they must be pleasing on your ears. Mrs W has the most charming brogue in town and her mellifluous tones are music to my ears. I even told her I married her for her voice. She retorted, sweetly, it was for her money but that’s her story.

In the distant past a relation of mine was going out with this woman and she had a unique set of vocal cords. She spoke like a ghost! Every time she opened her mouth if you shut your eyes you imagined she was flying through the room as a white sheet.

Example small talk conversation.

Me: Hello. It’s not a very nice day, is it?.

White lady: NOOOOHH. It’s COOOOLLD OOUUTsidEEEE. The WIIIIIINNND COOOOUUULLD cut RIIIIIIIght ThrOOUUGH YOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.
(I dived under the sofa)

There are many famous actors with distinctive voices that are heralded. We could be hear, sorry here, all day going through the lists. Maybe the gravely Clint Eastwood makes your day or the underlying menace of Vincent Price. Tony Curtis? Though that’s a blog in itself.

Newsreaders and show hosts on TV have to have a presentable pitch. From the distaff side there is only one winner. She presents the Book Show on Sky Arts TV. Mariella Frostrup. Her novel voice is perfect. She’s not too bad looking either.

 

 
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