Posted tagged ‘Hero Honda’

The safest way to travel

October 21, 2009

The Japanese joint venture company Hero Honda has seen a massive boost in sales mainly down to the premium Motorcycles it produces such as Splendour and Karizma. At their main headquarters in Delhi, India I was invited to a tour of their premises with their new Sales Executive Hairyukky Needsawashy.

Mr Needsawashy showed me the finished models of the brand new motor cycle called the Hero Honda Hunk. Hiding my smile I asked the high flyer how they choose names for their bikes. A lot of thought goes into it he said and they have to make sure that the name doesn’t translate rudely into another language and all languages are checked beforehand. The Hunk was named after Bruce Banner’s green monster alter-ego from Marvel Comics. Japanese technology has combusted with this typo.

Walking onto the forecourt I was cajoled into taking a spin with the Hunk. The test track was not what I expected. It consisted of two ramps and fifteen double decker buses. Nearby employees were goading me on and asking where’s the British courage? Now I’d watched Ghost Rider recently and if Nicholas Cage can do it…Get me my leathers and my helmet I barked.

Revving the two-stroke engine to full throttle I unleashed the Derby winning horse power beneath me and hurtled up the ramp. Soon I was airborne and absurdly, thinking about Alton Towers. I looked down at Needsawashy, he resembled a Formicidae. There really is nothing to do when you’re in this situation. For instance, you can’t read a newspaper and adrenaline bored I stifled a yawn.

Hitting the opposite ramp I hit the brakes and made doughnut rings with my tyres and then just to be original I made some Hexagons. The Hero Honda employees mobbed me and smothered me with kisses. Kissing in public is not a Japanese or Indian custom but I suppose I was on a Hunk.

Needsawashy was thrilled and informed me that Evel Knievel’s record was fourteen buses. He was fulsome in his admiration and asked me all manners of questions relating to the Dream Machine. Did it need any modifications? Is the seat comfy? Are the handlebars good to grip? Is the Motor cycle up to scratch? I said listen Hairyukky it’s fine but where can I put all my groceries after I’ve visited the supermarket? He pondered and walked slowly back to his drawing board.