Posted tagged ‘Google self-driving car’

A Road full of Robots

March 26, 2016

My old pals, the Google mob, not content with taking over the world wide web with their various online applications- maps, calendars, books, blogger (I used to play there)- are now taking their stock on the road. Literally. They have devised the Google self-driving car. This automobile runs autonomously from human input. It is a robotic car. The true essence of hands free.

Now I am not going to mock this machine for the teething problems it has had in testing. It’s crashed a few times and there weren’t even any dummies behind the wheel. It’s just that so many new laws will have to be written up to accommodate this vehicle as it jams up the highway. And who will be responsible for any accidents? Me, your honour? I was but a passenger reading the last copy of The Independent when I suddenly stopped. So the little dinky google car will have to sit in the dock (it would probably fit). It won’t pass Go, it won’t collect $200 and it will go straight to jail.

And there are other areas where it will fall flat.

Can it spot a pothole at fifty paces?

Can it repair a puncture?

Clean the dirt from the wheels?

Wave at the nice lollipop man?

Will it be able to use the petrol pump at the garage? And if so, how will it pay? A google express card, maybe.

What about road rage and malfunctions? Could the driverless car morph into HAL from 2001: a Space Odyssey. He would drive you round the bend forever while singing Daisy, Daisy…

So it’s a no from me. Sorry google. Try something else. What’s that, you say? Google are at the advanced stage of making anonymous google generated blogs. Good grief, they’ll put us all out of business.