Posted tagged ‘Fruit’

Still Life is a bowl of Cherries

November 27, 2010

“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”
Jerry Seinfeld trumping Confucius.

We practise routines and rituals every day sometimes without not even noticing it. You tie your shoe laces the same way without ever experimenting with new loop the loops. You’ll read the same newspaper instead of broadening your horizons and taking in other perspectives. And you’ll never consider trying out a different way to walk. You’re happy with the walk you’ve got even though you know your particular method of walking is dreadful.

Before you know it, you’ve got in a rut. The abrupt glottal stop in this short word makes it one of the most brutal words in the English dictionary. Say rut three times. See what I mean. Its close connection to drat is no coincidence. We’re all dratted in a rut. It’s time to get out of this rut.

I started the re-invigorating process slowly. I tied my laces in a basic reef knot. By the end of the week I will be doing sheepshanks and catshanks. Now primed for walking, tentatively I took new steps and went out to face the world. Upwardly mobile I declined my Daily Sport from my usual vendor and continued to foxtrot down the street.

Suddenly hunger came upon me and the urge for cola and pastries was strong. Then I saw it. Big Fruit Bag: only £5. Now me and fruit are like Connors and McEnroe, the Sundance Kid and swimming, Ring Nebula and casement windows. Me and fruit are not bed fellows. Preparing to do a tango away from the shop, the impulse to do the opposite came over me and I purchased the big fruit bag.

Back home with the tension building like a horror film I gradually opened the big fruit bag. Strange red balls looked out at me. After consulting Wikipedia I found out that they are called cherries. I took the plunge and ate a cherry. Wham! My head was dancing and my palate was screaming as this delicious taste sensation kicked like a mule and knocked me to the floor. This should be a category A drug.

(Still Life is a bowl of Cherries by a drunken Picasso)

I went back for more. Soon I’d consumed the whole lot. Now I couldn’t stop and moved on to things called apples and oranges (thanks again, Wiki). In a small amount of time the big fruit bag was devoured. I was Twist and wanted more. With one big fruit bag I had become a fruit addict. A five pound fi had turned my rut to fruit.

Truly, I can’t believe what I’ve been missing all these years. The wonderful world of fruit has embraced me and welcomed me into its church. At the moment I’m a lowly mason in the fruit degrees but tantalising glimpses of exotic fruits have been promised. Fringe benefits of fruit-eating are many. My liver has been cleansed, my toe nails are getting stronger and I’ve mastered a brand new walk.