Posted tagged ‘Fortune Telling’

No Scope for Horror

September 29, 2010

There was a TV programme on in the UK when I was very young that was not to be missed, it was called Play School. Every day they asked the question, which window will we look through today? You had a two to one chance of being correct and bragging rights all day if you were. Could this innocent game of chance have subsequently turned the country into rampant gamblers? Was Play School subversive?

Predictions and predictors are big business and everywhere. From the horrorscopes in your papers to the burgeoning gypsies that guess their way to money and laugh all the way to the bank. The fortune teller might say: red is a significant colour in your fate. Wild theories run riot and you hope for nothing more than a nose bleed. For sensible precautions you avoid revolving doors and bulls. A lucky or unlucky number is revealed to you signifying that luck or lack of it will start with this letter. Funnily, it’s always a common letter and never an X or a Z. Clearly, they make all this stuff up.

The charlatans come in many guises and will use any tool to wrench the cash from your hands. Take palm readers, they don’t even need to purchase a crystal ball all the equipment they use are in your hands. Well, they’re out of luck with me. As I’ve told you before I have no wrinkles and wrinkle free me has no lifeline to be read. The tea leaf readers are also shaken and strained to the ground by my imbibing habit. I only drink Tetley one-cup which-

A) Leafs no leafs
B) Leaves no leaves
C) Leafs no leaves
D) Leaves no leafs

(There’s a little multiple choice gamble for the Play School generation)

Some things are predictable and you don’t need Paul the octopus for these ones. At least one of the library books I hire today will have pages missing; probably the final ones, the Muse CD I buy will have a scratch on it and to fulfill the red prophecy I’ll bash my nose on a revolving door. Better luck hopefully and a win for the Mighty Glasgow Rangers in their Champions League tie tonight. I’ve said this since pre-Play School: Come on the Gers!