Posted tagged ‘Fort Knox Roller Shutters’

Splendour of the Steel Sentinels

September 7, 2014


One of the things that is not much lauded on this planet are roller shutter doors. These hinged slats of metal are taken for granted, ignored by passer-bys, unmentioned in news reports, as they stand guard in the frontline against robbers. It is time they had their due. Step back for a moment and admire them in their all their celestial beauty.


They come in many types and have differing operating systems. This makes them unique in the field that they serve. I mean take a look at burglar alarms. They’re all depressingly the same. Not roller shutters. They come in all shapes and sizes.

There is the magnificent tilting lath design similar to a Venetian blind. The wondrous button-operated fast powered electric shutter. Even older hand worked models caked with rust are exquisite. I love the sound of a creaking, rasping Roller Shutter first thing in the morning. And another thing that goes unnoticed is that these contraptions aren’t just shutters, they’re openers as well. You read that right. They’re also Roller Openers. Though for me at shop closing time nothing Rembrandt did can compete with a line of Roller Shutters shut.

Our reputation in the business world is such that we managed to secure a meeting with the head of Fort Knox Roller Shutters, the legendary Bull Ion. Bull is normally shy and retiring but he gladly granted us his first ever interview (what a scoop!) outlining the history, virtues and future aims for the industry.

So Bull, what got you interested in Roller Shutters?

Ever since I was a little bitty baby my mama done rock me in the cradle-

-Um, we’re here to talk about Roller Shutters, Bull?

Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. You know these new automatic doors are Beano and Dandy but I love the older manual chain lifting shutters . However, even I have to accept change and it’s fair to say that if there were a Miss Roller Shutter contest one of the more modern appliances would win shutters down. Your eyes are the eyes of a woman in love and oh, how-

-Right Bull, what are your future plans for Fort Knox Roller Shutters?



Yeah, films. Roller Shutter films. Films about Roller Shutters. We are the future of Hollywood. Attack of the 50 foot Roller Shutter. The day the Roller Shutter stood still. Rollershutterball.

OK. Thanks Mister Ion. We’ve got to go.

The Towering Roller Shutter. The Man with the Golden Roller Shutter. The Roller Shutter who fell to Earth. Lock, Stock and two smoking Roller Shutters. One of our Roller Shutters is Missing. The-

Miss Roller Shutter 2014

Miss Roller Shutter 2014