Posted tagged ‘extreme surgery’

Remorseless Agony

April 29, 2010

This was to be one of those operations that are done without anaesthetic. For that reason the patient was strapped to the bed in the operating room. For reasons known only to the male patient he signed away his right to bite and refused to chew down on a rectangular tube of rubber.

Preparations were under way by the underlings in this surgical procedure. The man in charge of the vital signs monitor was finding it difficult to receive a good transmission so he thumped the top of the screen and righted the picture. The “Keep clear” man had his two hot irons ready and sizzling to uncrease the patient back to life if required and a porter was holding a bucket.

High drama ensued in the theatre as the doctor made his entrance. The bondaged patient sucked in a sharp outtake of breath that, in the natural law of respiration was then blown out. Even though you could cut the tension with a Stanley knife the patient reflected on the difference between sucking and blowing and vowed to experiment on instead of sucking Candy, blowing Candy.

The doctor said. “Magic Sponge.” (more…)