Posted tagged ‘exhibitions’

Pictures from an Exhibitionist

October 3, 2010

Eric and Rae didn’t have a lust for life. The tour of the museum and the tour guide’s grating voice was making them terminally bored rigid. On and on she prattled about post-impressionism and autodidactic sculptresses. The guide’s informative and educated knowledge of the artefacts interested the other members of the tour party but for Eric and Rae this day out was the bees bollocks.

“See how the roughness of the marble is in contrast to the smoothness of the entwined lovers. The charge of eroticism against this controversial sculpture almost had it destroyed. Fortunately, a war began and afterwards the symbolism of the ardour perfectly illustrated the victors rampages.”

From the back of the cluster, Eric said to Rae.
“Did you know that when television was just invented some people would not get undressed in front of it.”

The party moved on to the galleries of paintings and, at length, the guide gave a long commentary on a work called The Bathers. The guide could barely conceal her mounting excitement and she waxed lyrical about the delights of the naturist heaven invoked in the picture.

“I’m fed up” said Rae.
Eric was too. “This is a bit of a drag. Tell you what. I dare you to strip right here, right now.”
“Everything.”
“The lot. Go for it.”

Rae unbuckled her shoes and then relieved herself of her blouse. The wobbly bare flesh of her arms revealed home made tattoos that were imprinted in an unprofessional manner by a hack artist. The blue period ink was a rushed doodle of surrealistic cubism and it grabbed the attention of the tour party. Cameras were produced and half-dressed images of Rae captured.

Dead bodies attract flies and a flashing female body will attract guys. Voyeurs came to spectate; young men clapped enthusiastically for more. Rae didn’t disappoint and she dropped her skirt to the floor. Puritan grandmothers were disgusted though they continued to rubberneck at the car crash striptease in front of them.

Just below Rae’s buttocks was a port wine birthmark; not for nothing was she called Raesa Gorbachev by all her boyfriend’s. The tour guide was rapturous and stood goggle-eyed. For years her painter friend had been searching for the perfect life model to paint nude. This beautiful specimen was Bathsheba re-incarnated.

Rae prepared to unhook her brassiere but before unscaffolding her monumental twin buildings she was stopped by a museum security guard and charged with public indecency. Without pity, the stark naked paintings adorning the walls hypocritically continued to expose their bodies shamelessly.

As Rae was led away with the ecstatic guide following her in panting mode, Eric returned to his normal mindset of apathy. Though he spared a thought for the dare to bare Rae. When she lines up in court will she be Exhibit A?