Posted tagged ‘End of the World news’

Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline

April 21, 2011

One of the few times I’ve been really worried was just before the end of the century and the oncoming threat of the Millennium bug that was predicted to wreck havoc on the world’s computer systems. The Y2K problem as it was also known turned out to be a damp squib in the end. All that fretting I did over one’s and zeroes was for nothing. Stupidly, I was scared of a 1-0. And if the bug did become infectious it wouldn’t have harmed me anyway; in 1999 I didn’t have a computer. Though, I did have a DVD player so maybe my channels might have got mixed up, I don’t know, I’m not a scientist.

From that day forth, although it was the first (Jan 1 2000), I vowed to never worry again. This peace of mind has helped me to remain calm while all around are falling to pieces. As a well-known, famous, popular philosopher said – I forget his name- “it is better to have a happy Etch-a-Sketch face than a Nostradamus on your back”. This outlook has made me cope with life’s little struggles while ignoring stories of the end of civilisation.

Yesterday, I was on a bus to pass the time and I noticed it was getting very busy. The travellers had a steely look of intent in their eyes. My judgement of their body language was telling me they were having money difficulties, possibly their portfolio of stocks was in a bad way, or they were deranged criminals. At times like these it’s hard not to worry. Enigmatically, I put a Mona Lisa half-smile on my face to temper the emotions of the crew.

The bus stopped and the whole congregation rushed past me and hurtled into the building of the Department of health and Social Security. There must be a new benefit up for grabs. At this time I could feel wetness on my chest. I looked down and saw a red stain on the breast pocket of my shirt; one of the unemployed had stabbed me during the stampede. I remained undeterred to my injury as there was no ache from my chest. Obviously, my nonchalance had made me immune to pain.

Deciding to investigate the wound I stuck my hand in the pocket. I fished out a red pen that had burst. This marker was my weapon of choice for writing in the margins of my books, now it was no more. The shirt would also have to go to shirt heaven. This double-whammy would have tested most individuals. It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.