Posted tagged ‘Dreams (bed retailer)’

Bedtime Story

October 11, 2012

You don’t buy a bed every week. Ó JW10.

One topic guaranteed to turn off readers is a writer narrating the details of a dream he’s had. Your personal dreams have no interest for any one else. You soon lose your audience when you venture into dreamland. Therefore, it was with trepidation that this week’s bulletin is about the bed specialists- Dreams.

The bed retailing giant dismissed rumours that it is in crisis. The management is holding talks with the bank about restructuring the company. Inevitably, store closures have been reported in the bed press.

My wife said it was time we had a new bed. We sat on the sofa together and browsed the Dreams catalogue. Flipping through the covers was relaxing. Page after page of soft, comforting images of serene beds was making me sleepy. With a slow, casual movement I placed my head onto my wife’s shoulder.

I was now in the land of beds. Floating over my head was bed after bed after bed. Each one more alluring than the last. The beds were mesmerising me in their passing. I was in a paradise of beds. Zedbeds gave me a wave as they flew past. What nice beds, I dreamed. I was deep in a sleep of ZZZZ’s.

But paradises never last and the next batch of beds were surly, uneven and bumpy. Their broken springs, madder than an adder, coiled and sprang at me with a hiss. I tossed and turned in the void. The zedbeds became Venus Flytraps and I squirmed for safety. In the cosmos, heading towards me was a bed of nails and I didn’t have my slippers on. I winced.

“We’ll get that one.” said my wife.

I screamed before I realised I’d woken from my dream and was listening to my wife’s favoured choice from the Dreams book.

“I’m so happy with your brilliant selection I wanted to scream.” I added quickly.

The bed will be delivered soon and going by the picture it looks alright. The thing is once it’s safely ensconced in the bedroom it will lose its glossy lustre. My wife is one of those women that drowns the bed with thousands of pillows and soft toys. The bed becomes one overloaded life raft. When she’s not in I scatter the soft toys and pillows all over the ship. Of course, I have to rearrange them before she comes back. She always notices that they have been moved. That’s when my nightmare really starts.