Posted tagged ‘desires and delusions’


February 16, 2011

In Stanley Kubrick’s flawed masterpiece Eyes Wide Shut the Nicole Kidman character confesses to her husband that she was tempted to have a one night stand. Only providence stopped her from committing this act of infidelity. Such scenarios are played out for real in the real world. What drives individuals to stoop to this behaviour? Can it just be an impulsion for forbidden fruit?

Being true in spirit it has never crossed my mind to be unfaithful although I can be impulsive; I think we all are from time to time. Yesterday a strange desire almost took over my senses. I was walking along an industrial estate and a haulage truck was in the process of being loaded. The driver entered the factory to, I’d imagine, make sure the paperwork was in order. He had left the doors at the back of the trailer open.

The truck was loaded right to the front of the cab; I could climb on and shimmy along the pallets to hide in the darkness further down. Once the doors were closed I was set for a mystery ride. Where would I end up? A few miles down the road? The other side of the country? Would I be unloaded? Perhaps the truck was going into storage and it would be days before I would see daylight.

In seconds the drive to be daring left me and I walked past the opening into a different future.