Posted tagged ‘Birthdays’

From no-prizes to presents

September 1, 2010

Roars of applause greeted us on our arrival at the huge Lidl superstore. This was the venue chosen to host The Best Advertising Slogans of All-Time. With much excitement and anticipation we attended the presentation with high hopes of glory; our little ship on the edge of cyber space had been nominated in the Finance category.

A sumptuous buffet was on offer before the event including cheese and ham toasties, peanuts and flaming hot Monster Munch. We mingled amongst fellow nominees who all shared our dreams of being winners. My secretary was just glad to be out the office and away from the steep paper mountain on her desk. Yes, I took my wife out at the same time as my secretary. Who said three was a crowd?

A gong signalled the beginning of the ceremony and we sat on the wooden stools provided. The host was some unknown academic called Brian Braddock who sported a huge amulet round his neck. He fairly rifled through the categories as if he had an engagement elsewhere. The winners were-

BEVERAGES- “Sch… You know who?” – Schweppes
FOOD- “57 Varieties” – H. J. Heinz Company
HOUSEHOLD- “For hands that do dishes can feel soft as your face, with mild green Fairy Liquid” – Fairy Liquid
MOTORING- “If only everything in life was as reliabale as a Volkswagen”
TRANSPORT- “The Un-official carrier of the you-know what.” Kulula Air (very funny livery)

And then came the big one: the Finance category. All the whizz from bizz was in there with the big boys. Without blowing our trumpet too loudly, we agreed our brilliant catchphrase was a work of genius. The big envelope was opened and the winner was… “Don’t leave home without it” – American Express.

Being beaten by a plastic card was a sore one to take. Braddock had also beaten a hasty retreat, touching his amulet as he whizzed past cavorting in a costume.Wonder what bizz he’s in?

Gracious in defeat we offered our congratulations and headed home where it was champagne for the ladies and “McEwans is the best buy, the best buy, the best buy, McEwan’s is the best buyyyyyyy, the best buy….in beer.” (Should have won the beverages award) McEwans Export for me. We celebrated anyway because its JW10’s birthday. We’re one year old on the second.