Posted tagged ‘BBC world Service’

New York Groove

March 1, 2016

This is London. Da-da-ra-da, dat-dara-da. Da-rat-da-da-da-da-dee.

Couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that the strike at Whizz from Bizz was the first item after the pips on the World Service.

The industrial action by the staff is over and we’re back in the New York Groove. It was a Wapping strike right enough and now the facts can be told. As is well known at Christmas time I give the workers a fortnight off to enjoy themselves. But this wasn’t enough for them they wanted two months!

And they wanted more.

The sub-editor, fed up with doing corrections to my dodgy facts and figures, demanded that I use Google to check my information. Sacrilege! Use a search engine. Where’s the fun in that? He was being Tom Petty and wouldn’t back down. After lengthy discussions a compromise was reached. No google but I had to Bing. He’s turned me into a crooner.

Hillary, the hard working secretary, forever climbing the paper mountain on my home page. she wanted a raise. I told her you’ll reach the top eventually and bought her a set of ladders.

Barry the brontosaurus was a pain in the neck with his constant moans about not getting enough scripts. I tried to tell him dinosaurs went out with the cavemen. (that’s not true, you never Binged, I’m going on strike, sub-editor comment). Anyway, to stop Barry turning into a carnivore he will feature in more editions.

After all this I needed a long rest. Then it dawned on me. These men, women and sauropods don’t exist. They’re a figment of my imagination. Or are they real…? Oh well, no matter, I  got a two month break because of their strike. But now I’m back. We’re back. All the staff are now pulling in the one direction. Hello, once again.