Posted tagged ‘Acme’

Explosives Corporation goes out with a bang

September 4, 2009

The string of lawsuits has eventually taken its toll on the Acme Corporation as the receivers have been sent in to close down the conglomerate. The calamitous products produced by Acme and the millions of accidents they caused have brought the company to collapse. Afflicted teenagers suffering from Acme also tend to boom and bust their spots.

Founded in the 1920’s Acme was at the forefront of innovation. Widely used by dastardly animals intent on creating turmoil most of the inventions were rabidly anti-road runners. A furtive skeletal figure Wile E Coyote was Acme’s best customer and his mysterious disappearance has contributed to the corporation falling into debt. No one seems to know the whereabouts of the Wiley one. Conspiracy theories abound but he was last seen suspended in mid air before plummeting into the chasm of cyberspace shouting “Rangers for everrrrr…”

Acme did have some successes. Envied worldwide for their spectacular mailing system that could outrun the Millennium Falcon and make today’s pretenders, Amazon’s express delivery look like a beard growing, haggard, creaking, Grandfather clock that’s stopped ticking. Wile E dropped his request in an out of town post box somewhere deep in a canyon and Shazam! A wooden crate landed at his feet or usually- his head. If only the mail men had the same vigour in the society we live in today I could receive my new Stephen King – I’m his second biggest fan- book before he’s written it. On second thoughts I might get a beump (Inspector Clouseau) on the head.

As we buzz the final tweezers into Acmes’ operation we should not forget those wonderfully destructive contraptions that never trapped the target but destructed the error strewn operator. If anything Acme were too ahead of their time and future times could be all the richer for using the doomed firms discoveries and fine tuning them; hummmmmm. Dynamite and camouflage paint can do just about any job.

Today I painted an image of a cave with an inviting opening on a brick wall and a Road Runner ran straight into it and crumpled to the floor using expletives which I have beep beeped out. And now I know what to have with my chips tonight.