Posted tagged ‘3D technology’

It’s an easy one, Hamlet: 3D not for me

July 24, 2011

Most movie blockbusters come with the option of viewing the film in 3D. Not once, and not just because it is the more expensive alternative, have I watched a 3D picture. 2D still works for me today.

Defenders of 3D tell me it is a magical experience of stereophonic depth perspectives with the intensity of a thousand surrealistic paintings. This wasn’t music to my ears as I imagined my watch melting in the heat. My only close encounter with the third dimensional kind was a TV demonstration in-store that you could test for yourself. A kind of try before you buy experiment.

First off I didn’t like the glasses. I was looking forward to donning the two-toned blue and red whizz from bizz font colour scheme sparkling eye-pieces. I found out they’ve been replaced by bland jet black Top Gun shades instead. Progress, my uneducated left foot. During long films on occasion, because of my goldfish attention span my eyes have wandered from the drama which is not a problem with my 20/12 vision. With these spectacles on however, apart from the screen the surroundings are devoid of definition.

Nausea and disorientation also set in after a short time as my head wasn’t used to this alien environment. Now the five minute 3D attractions at fairgrounds where you fly a Naboo space ship or plunge into the ocean avoiding giant piranhas are exciting. That’s a five minute ride and you are the star not a three hour extravaganza full of funny nosed Avatar humanoids.

3D is not new. I can recall my mum telling me she saw House of Wax (1953) starring Vincent Price in 3D. She said before the main feature an advertisement in 3D for cigarettes ended with the actor throwing ciggies into the audience. The crowd were agog and ducked or tried to catch the tobacco missiles. For the time this was cutting room edge technology. Unfortunately, the novelty of the effects soon wore off on customers and the original 3D had a small shelf life.

Producers are trying again. Their influence has even spilled onto other medium. My sub-editor suggested we should do this blog in 3D to set a trend. To be frank I wasn’t happy with him and this week he’s been wearing dark glasses after the disciplinary meeting I had with him.

This 2G 3D will also run its course and then be consigned to the dustbin alongside other scientific nightmares: Betamax, DeLorean supercar, Concorde, Vuvuzela, New Coke…