4.2 The Chinese take away

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

(old Chinese proverb)

“We’re going to be rich beyond our wildest dreams” Enthused Jeff to Ralph. Ralph had his doubts and he expressed them.

“These things never  work out the way they’re supposed to.”

“This is a home run, a slam dunk, a bull’s eye, as sure-fire as a Kung Fu chop.” Jeff mimicked a David Carradine downward slice. It wasn’t pretty and truthfully, it wouldn’t have cut butter.

“The Chinese take away is situated on the outskirts of town but it’s the best take away in town. If you know what I mean. The majority of customers phone their orders in. Very few customers actually enter the premises. All you’ve got to do is answer the phone and all I have to do is deliver the goods. It’s easy money. So we in, Liondance.” Ralph agreed.

The take away opened at six o’clock and immediately the phone rang.

“Told you Ralph, the phone lines will be busy but it is an easy job.”

“You could be right, Jeff” Ralph, with great sunny delight, picked up the phone and took the order. He wrote it down together with the address. He punched the air before putting the phone down. “That’ll be the first of many and the more we sell the more we make.  With tips and all that.” Ralph picked up a flotilla sized toy dragon’s head costume that was behind the counter and danced a Chinese dance. it was like New Year all over again.

A half hour passed without any further calls. Jeff had been sent to deliver the solitary order. The chef and owner weren’t in a rising sun mood and the mandarins scowled a grasshopper of a scowl at Ralph.

Jeff returns and sits with Ralph. Two hours pass without any more orders. Ralph is afraid to look at the phone which is the white elephant in the room. The air is filled with tension. The proprietors were holding their fire-breathing breaths. Ralph breaks the silence.

“A waiting kettle never boils. That’s an old British proverb.”

Just then an irate customer walks into the shop. I’d rate him about negative ten. He shouts.

“I’ve walked three miles to get here. What’s going on? I’ve tried to phone since you opened. The phone is constantly engaged.”

Ralph and Jeff  look at the phone. It is slightly off the hook but off the hook nevertheless. The chef picks up his meat cleaver and the owner falls into a Bruce Lee pose. Ralph checks the writing on the wall and utters.

“Hey, don’t forget your old proverb,” he replaces the handset and it begins to ring. “See, we’re back in business.” he speaks into the phone “Good evening, can I take your order”.

The waiting customer is furious and screams at Jeff “I was here first.”

Jeff, in self-survival mood answers “I’m just the driver.”


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2 Comments on “4.2 The Chinese take away”

  1. Hee Hoh JW and I want a hat like that! (already have matching nose).

    What a merry tale, and a Wise one (Have noted the Teachings)

  2. theroyalist Says:

    Just a little diversion, Dolores.

    There’s a big Chinese community not far from us. Mrs W and I were at a Chinese New Year dinner/celebration on February this year.The Lion dance parade was colourful and stirring. (food was superb, too)

    This year, for your information, is the Chinese Year of the monkey.
    Everybody loves monkeys.

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