Police Artist

In this digital age we must spare a thought for the poor, forgotten Police Artist. This Constable of the Force has been replaced in the facial composite stakes department by a Photofit computer program that can pinpoint a pimple on an individual face. Sharp and precise though the modern day Wanted Posters may be, they lack the charm and ambiguity of the old less-realistic graphic art representations.

The specialised Police artist was a law unto himself. The great responsibility that was solely his in capturing villains had its advantages. Imagine going to work and playing Guess Who? every day. Delightful.

Witnesses would bombard the penciller with details of the suspect. No beard, he had glasses, bits of black hair at the side. The Whodunnit would soon be portrayed not by the flipping down of tiles but by a charcoal drawing of the perp. That’s narrowed the search down a bit, don’t you think? The cops will be after every Tom, Dick and Harry. Personally, I think it was Tom. (click on photo for a bigger picture)

The Police Artist is now a down on the beat cop. His skilful hands are now only used for collaring and not colouring. Only in his off duty time can he keep his eye in. For all the Police Whistler’s out there, we salute you.


The Police Artist

Bobby was a painter

One of the select few

He could capture any expression

On the faces of the people he drew


Bounty hunters loved him

Because Bobby’s work was so good

Picking up a fugitive was easy

Using the lifelike portrait of the hood


Private commissions flew his way

But he cared for them not a jot

He was only interested in drawing baddies

And his detective artwork caught a lot


One day they brought in a computer

And Bobby was put on the beat

No more would his pencils sketch a  Kingpin

He was now patrolling the streets


A big break-in at a wealthy house

The perimeter was full of Police tape and signs

Bobby was ordered to keep out the prying eyes

And was told to draw the blinds

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5 Comments on “Police Artist”

  1. `…draw the blinds` – hee hoh hoh! And yet, JW, so poignant. How wonderful to see more of your poetry.

    Could you be recognised from the Wanted posters – Alfred maybe? (Think I`m a blend of Anita and Eric – they`re Startlingly realistic).

  2. theroyalist Says:

    The whole of humankind will be encapsulated in those Guess Who characters, Dolores.

    Of those faces I have Robert’s outlook on life. You’ve read my blogs so you know what I mean. Sunny dispositions, nnnnn.

  3. lordy yes, JW – how permanently Miserable are your blogs! (I think not…). Can`t seem to find a convincing dolores Hyperventilating Snarl up there. (which will be particularly pronounced tomorrow when I attempt to take up driving after a four year gap).

    The instructor is apparently experienced and capable with frenzied decrepit specimens. (you`re way beyond danger up there). (though you might hear the odd scream)

  4. theroyalist Says:

    Well done for getting back on the saddle, Dolores. Write a blog about your travels. I am sure it will be rip roaring fun.

    My wife hasn’t driven in seven years. She just stopped. Apparently, it’s because of all the nutters on the road. Sheesh, she must mean me and you.

    Speak to you in a few days time, DD, off to Hampden Park tomorrow to see Bruce Springsteen. Will probably have a “Boss Party” in the house afterward. I am off work the rest of the week so I might have a shandy or two.

  5. Ahh – Bruce palpitating Springsteen – have a joyous time, JW!
    And thanks for encouragement on wheels – I Will be writing a blog on it, just as soon as I stop crying

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