Archive for December 2015

The great Advention

December 6, 2015

December is the only month that I can tell exactly what date it is: 1st, 2nd, 3rd …All the other months I am not as precise though I could, if asked, tell the date in that month to within ten days either side of the actual date. My proficiency with December is due to one thing, and one thing only- the advent calendar.

This large rectangular card has little windows with numbers denoting the days up to Christmas. Behind each door lurks a small piece of chocolate. Probably due to the rarity of the morsel it is more tasty than a whole bar of galaxy. The goodies stop after twenty four days and the box, like an unwanted puppy, is discarded. Poor old advent calendar.

There are other calendars on certain locations of the house, none of them as enticing or as delicious as the adventy one. Rarely do I use the yearly calendars unless checking up on when Rangers will play next or upcoming rock concerts. (Don’t forget to mention the imaginary business meetings- sub-editor interjection comment) Oh yeah, yeah and umm, the imag-, the comprehensive business meetings I have to attend as CEO of this website.

Calendars are a seasonal industry and it is at this time they’re wearing skis and on the piste. And they come now in thousands of varieties. In the dark ages they were bland with only pictures of trees or cats to brighten them up, now there’s every kind of subject available: celebrities, exotic animals, cartoon characters, outer space, historic homes, tractors, photos of Callander, Val Doonican’s cardigans, Magic bread hats. You can even order a bespoke calendar with images of your family adorning the months. My Transylvania mother-in-law will be allocated February, the shortest month, so I only see her ferocious features for the littlest time. If only someone could make long life chocolate I’d want an all year round advent calendar.

On the subject of advent calendars. This is true, by the way. I used to have a neighbour called Mrs Calendar. (Hands up those of you who thought I was going to say Mrs Advent?) As we are still in the early days of this month there are a lot of chocolate windows to be opened. The anticipation is almost as good as the treat. We don’t all play by the same rules. My mate Chibber also had an advent calendar this year. Had being the correct word. He smashed in all the doors on the 1st of December and scoffed the lot.

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