Reflections on inflections

The old maxim there’s someone for everyone is redundant. There’s now hundreds, nay, thousands of everyones for someone. Romantic entanglements are only a few mouse clicks away. Dating agencies have proliferated on the internet and been taken advantage of by various individuals for different purposes. Some are looking for true love some prefer a more amore fleeting adventure. Women, yes women, under the cloak of anonymity are unchained and use the facility.

Irresistible. Moi?

Lies are not uncommon in the user profile on these pages and fake photographs have been used. Sometimes the photo doesn’t fit the chosen person and the excited expectant dater is in for an almighty fright when Plug walks through the door. Libellously, I’ve even seen some nefarious souls use my copyrighted coyote picture as an enticement. Who could resist Wile E? Now I’m not seeking a stranger soul mate but if I was there is one important criteria I would look for in a woman. I will keep you in suspenders for a moment before telling you.

Obviously, the more desirable the look the better the chance of being selected but as said you need to look past this. Further questions ask what your hobbies are and what kind of person you are looking for. It makes sense if both of you have the same interests, though sometimes opposites attract. Taking for granted that all the facts are correct true matchmaking can be attained. The match wasn’t made in heaven it was made on the internet.

If I ever endeavoured onto the personal ads the thing I would most look for is a nice voice. This is problematic. With no video accompaniment to the profile I would have to imagine what the voice would be like. You really need a nice voice. Think about it, if you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone they must be pleasing on your ears. Mrs W has the most charming brogue in town and her mellifluous tones are music to my ears. I even told her I married her for her voice. She retorted, sweetly, it was for her money but that’s her story.

In the distant past a relation of mine was going out with this woman and she had a unique set of vocal cords. She spoke like a ghost! Every time she opened her mouth if you shut your eyes you imagined she was flying through the room as a white sheet.

Example small talk conversation.

Me: Hello. It’s not a very nice day, is it?.

White lady: NOOOOHH. It’s COOOOLLD OOUUTsidEEEE. The WIIIIIINNND COOOOUUULLD cut RIIIIIIIght ThrOOUUGH YOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.
(I dived under the sofa)

There are many famous actors with distinctive voices that are heralded. We could be hear, sorry here, all day going through the lists. Maybe the gravely Clint Eastwood makes your day or the underlying menace of Vincent Price. Tony Curtis? Though that’s a blog in itself.

Newsreaders and show hosts on TV have to have a presentable pitch. From the distaff side there is only one winner. She presents the Book Show on Sky Arts TV. Mariella Frostrup. Her novel voice is perfect. She’s not too bad looking either.

 

 
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16 Comments on “Reflections on inflections”


  1. You smooth talker, you. May I thrust myself forward on the daternet please? for I look and Sound Very like Mariella!

    I once temped for a fella who was blind and during a merry chat one day, he asked what I looked like. 'About 5ft10, blond, Bridget Bardotish' I confessed modestly. 'Strange,' he said, 'I'd imagined fairly short and brownish haired.' How did he know, the sod!?

    Anyway, I vote for singer Tom Waits
    whose voice has been Wikily described as “like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with a car”.

  2. JW10 Says:

    Hello there velvet-tongued (not forgetting those beautiful ears) Dolores.

    I YouTubed some of Tom's burning tarmacadam vocals. That is distinctive! What's your favourite tune of his? If I can find it I'll post it here. A tribute to great voices.


  3. ¿Reflections on inflections?

    I once had a watch with a mirrored front which gave me time for reflection. But I lost my watch when I took my new date to visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Now the tower has both the time and inclinition.

    On my next date I had a new watch, and we went to a restaurant, where I discovered that when the watch is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
    🙂


  4. Ooh thankee, JW, if it doesn't bugger up your wondrous post too much, I think my Fave is 'Come on up to the house'
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJBqRzjCBSE
    if you like it…

    Yes, my ears are indeed widely admired – am thinking of putting them on Youtube with, of course, velvetty voiceover (George could do that bit – it's what first brought us together). (That and his Party Trousers)

    CI – you loony specimen of punmanshipness!

  5. JW10 Says:

    No problem, Dolores. These blogs are our blogs. Without the contributions from your good self and our friends they would sit empty, dateless, in cyberspace.

    CI, thank you for your unique watch stories. Like the upside down question mark, it made me lean like Pisa.


  6. you are kind & generous, JW! And I love that song. D'you like Tom Waits, though?

    He's a friend of the departed Warren Zevon and once, when Warren cancelled a gig due to hideously bad throat, Tom admonished him, 'Couldn't you just TALK your way through it..?”

  7. JW10 Says:

    How can I put this without us having our first confrontation, Dolores?
    Think, think, think…
    Um, yes, Tom is quite good when the sound is turned down.
    (and now I dive under the sofa, again)

  8. Expat Says:

    Talking about songs…and this really has nothing to do with the blog topic (again)…I have just heard for the first time the amazing charity tribute version of “He ain't heavy, he's my brother.” I understand it was No. 1in the UK at Christmas. Stunning. And epecially poignant on a personal level. My brother in Austalia had a really bad ventricular trachyardia heart episode a week ago, and had emergemcy angioplasty, two stents, and a defribulator implanted. He's doing OK, but too far away to give him the hug I want to give him so badly.


  9. Expat – I'm so sorry to hear that your brother has had emergency surgery. I do hope he recovers quickly – and that he gets those hugs soon!
    🙂


  10. This comment has been removed by the author.


  11. My apologies – my comment appeared twice – and I've no idea why. Now I'm worried in case the same happens with this comment. Be brave, you magnificent canary, be brave…
    🙂

    Here goes… weeeee…!
    🙂


  12. Hell's Teeth, Expat – that's quite a lot of stuff to hoick around in your brother's chest – hope he's feeling loads better by the minute. And agonising for you from so far away. Best wishes to him.


  13. Oh JW, how magnanimous of you to splatter your post with undesirable stuff for the pleasing of readers. (possibly pleasing but One reader with This undesirable…). But he's so wonderfully Craggy & laugh-inducing.

    Thank You again. (can you hear me down there Under the cushions)?

  14. JW10 Says:

    Wishing your brother a speedy recovery, Expat. And best wishes from me to you in your time of worry.

  15. JW10 Says:

    (peeking my head over the top of the famous sofa)
    Is she still here? Is it safe?
    (dives below again)


  16. I've gone JW.
    But I can Seeeeee Yooouuuuu…


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