Sunshine and Trouble


Stringer Bell famously commented that when the product is weak changing the name is a useful tool in economics. His philosophy seems to have been mirrored by the Rupert Murdoch organisation as it is about to launch The Sun on Sunday newspaper, which is the News of the World in all but name. The NOTW infamously collapsed last year due to phone tapping crimes. Sales of the new tabloid are expected to be high as sensational news stories are a circulation winner. Fancying a job as a freelancer with this rag I sought out some sensational stories to pitch to Rupert.

To begin with, one of my neighbours that I see most days has two dogs, one big, one small (although I can do the Cruyff turn I don’t know the breeds of dogs) that he takes for a walk each morning. His opening comment is always about the dogfight that occurred when the dogs woke up.
“The small dog battered the big dog this morning.”
Sometimes this can be- “The big dog battered the small dog this morning.”
Before I meet him I take bets to myself over which dog will be the current top dog. The violence in this story might appeal to the Sun on Sunday reader added to which they will take sides in the uncertain contest. This could lead to domestic squabbles as brother fights brother or sister-in-law fights mother-in-law over which dog is their favourite: Spitfire or Messerschmitt.

Moving onto more serious matters in society, I’ve discovered an occupation where there is a degree of unfairness in working conditions. This is in the Lollipop people profession. I’d imagine they are all paid the same yet some have it easier than the other. Some Lollipopians are given berths at traffic lights which make the job safer and simpler to negotiate the crossing of the road than the ones that must stop the traffic by stepping onto the street using their road sense. I’m sure the latters nerves are fractured and they wish they had a cushy button pushing number. This dubious employment practise could be a big investigation for the SOS to lead with, pitting themselves against the Sunday Times insight team as the best investigative journalists.

With these two scoops up my sleeve I was almost ready to ring Rupert; I hacked into his phone earlier so I know the number. I just needed one more tale to tell. And it had to be a big one. From out of the black and into the red, one of my sources told me of the outlaw lady, trouble with a capital T that rode into Sharktown freeing the ladies and horses from captivity. They’ll buy this one for a dollar. The Sun on Sunday will be a red top but cover to cover it will be filled with ladies similarly attired like Pink.

Postscript: Love Pink (not Pinkie). Uploaded the video first and worked the script around her. As you do.

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11 Comments on “Sunshine and Trouble”

  1. Expat Says:

    Arghh…you got me again. I don't know this pink person. But isn't it portentious that the acronym for Murdoch's latest venture is SOS? Freud might have something to say about that…and no doubt plenty to say about the pink lady.

    Hold on! Wasn't a Pink Lady a fashionable cocktail in the Roaring Twenties? Or was that the name of a best in show poodle at Crufts?

    I'm taking my medication now…

  2. JW10 Says:

    Expat, my gast is flabbered ( © Ferret, though he says he isn’t the originator) I thought Pink was in the mainstream. I much prefer heavy metal music (very obscure stuff)though Pink’s songs do have a bit of an edge to them. She does also have other, er, obvious charms.

    You’ll need to tell me more about these exotic cocktails. I am strictly beer only.

    As for Crufts, have you considered entering Beckham? I’m sure the golden boy would trounce the opposition.


  3. Hi there Cowboy…

    I like Rangers.
    I like Pinker tons, too.

    But best of all,
    I like you.

    You are a complete nutcase!

    🙂

  4. Expat Says:

    I'm considering getting Beckham a tattoo or several, and some stylish underwear, just to give him an edge in the judging circle.


  5. Today we flew back to Tenerife, in a record flight time of only 3 hours and 40 minutes (scheduled flight time 4 hours 15 minutes). Brilliant!

    One of our fellow passengers wore pink trousers, the lower half of which were encased in tall leather boots stretching up to the knees. He wore a pink shirt with ruffled collar and sleeves, and a purple fur jacket with a matching beret.

    At Tenerife he was met by a chap in identical ensemble – with a French poodle also attired in pink tights and purple beret!

    So your idea for Beckham may have some merit, Expat. I've never seen so many heads turn at the airport before!
    🙂

  6. JW10 Says:

    CI, now you must believe me. For years I've been telling you about this “Pinkie” guy who follows me about. At last he's found a soul mate…and a dog!
    Thank God they're in Tenerife with you. 🙂

    Back to Beckham. To put the finishing touch on the boy, Expat, he must have some designer stubble. And instead of barking he should say “y'know” quite a lot.

  7. Expat Says:

    Beckham is very interested in the poodle attired in pink tights and a purple beret. He asks, very politely, if he might bide with you a while, CI and with luck get to know her, or him. I don't think Becks is too fussy either way.


  8. Yes, but what if Becks were to find us too Posh? One of our Belgian friends has one those tiny snappy dogs that spends most of its time being carried around and which has been trained to sit very elegantly with its paws crossed. And our French next-door neighbour has a similar dog named “Chou-Chou” that always goes out wearing a hat. Somehow I don't think any of them could bend it like Becks…
    🙂

  9. Expat Says:

    Change of subject…I believe that the 24th is the day that Dolores and George take possession of their new house! Here's to a hassle-free move in and to seeing D. back on the blogs very soon!


  10. Lovely thoughts, Expat!
    Here's hoping all goes well.
    (It does all go well sometimes, doesn't it?)
    🙂

  11. Expat Says:

    Yes, I hope they moved in, and all was smooth. Of course, it will probably take a month to get internet hook-up, this being the UK.


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