The Bucket List #3 – Destruction

The tunes were all in the deaf Beethoven’s head and Rodin could see the figures in the marble before he chipped his way round the stone. It’s a gift to be creative. The opposite of creative is non-creative. Non-creativity is a lot easier to accomplish. For this reason, and for the fun of it, I’d like to put in a virtuoso performance of annihilation.

How good would it be to demolish a building with a wrecking ball?

This weapon of destruction causes carnage and chaos as it is not certain which way the bricks will crumble. Imagine being in the cabin at the controls swinging this almighty leg chain and ball. Stage by stage you can Jenga the edifice with an artists precision. Watch with tingling spine as you devastate lumps of masonry that form massive dust clouds. The only thing I think of that comes close to this powerful juggernaut for sheer elation is snapping bubble wrap even though bubble wrap snapping is a serious addiction for some.

Good times never last and the pendulous wrecking ball crane is past its prime as controlled explosives that level a building in one fell swoop are favoured today. Crowds gather, cameras at the ready, to record the concrete avalanche as the fuse gets ready to blow. This quick dismissal is symptomatic of today’s Twitter, soundbite generation: speed texting, swift broadband speed, rolling news. Not for them the crunching, devastating, deafening as Ludwig van’s fifth, marathon test match viewing of a few days of wrecking ball madness.

As my chances of operating a wrecking ball are slim, health and safety practises would have something to say for a start, I will have to set my sights on something attainable that could give me my destructive fix. In a picture in my head I see trees. One day I am going to cut down a tree. And not just any old tree. I’m talking about a huge tree that you find in a forest. And you can forget about using a power saw. No siree, it’s roll your sleeves up time and hack away with an axe.

After tears, blood, sweat, toil and lots of cola the big tree (I don’t know the names of trees, I’m not a botanist. A tree is a tree is a tree) will come tumbling down. Satisfied? Not yet. The next task is to hollow out the bark using chiselling tools. Rodin the lumberjack would like this. Soon a tunnel will form and I’ll be able to see the daylight shine right through. Then I’ll lie down inside and sleep like a log.

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7 Comments on “The Bucket List #3 – Destruction”

  1. Expat Says:

    Now you're talking my language! A big crane with a wrecking ball in action is a sight to behold. But the precision required to drop a multi-story building on it's own footprint using controlled explosion is what amazes me. A few years back, we got up very early to watch on TV the famed (in the USA) Three Rivers football stadium in Pittsburgh come down. We lived just outside the Burgh at the time and we regret not making the trip up Mount Washington, which overlooks the once stadium, to see it live.

    The most amazing part was they had already built the new stadium just a few feet away, with huge plate glass walls facing the destruction zone. Not one sliver of damage was caused.

    For really big trees, you need to visit California and bag yourself a Redwood. But since the circumference of those is huge, you and your axe might have to take up residence for the several months or so it could take you to bring 'er down.

    One more thing I am in awe of? Anyone who can write a close-out line like the one on this blog!! Brilliant, JW, just brilliant.

  2. JW10 Says:

    Hello Expat,

    Sometime this year the Red Road flats (famous in this city) will be demolished. One of my school friends lived there and I enjoyed many parties in that building. The landmark will soon be gone leaving just a memory.
    It is skilful how the engineers topple the buildings inwardly without damaging nearby property but I’d love a shot of the wrecking ball before they do their stuff.

    And I can’t wait to get started on the Redwood. To make things even more interesting I’ll use a blunt axe.

  3. JW, I’m getting dizzy.
    But I like it. First there was Winston with his Blood, toil, tears and sweat, followed by the rocky jazzy group Blood, Sweat and Tears, and now your ”Tears, blood, sweat, toil”. Not to mention lots of cola. But the really worrying thing is the Beasties – the Creepies – the Crawlies – that are likely to join you after your exertions as you happily slumber in the hollowed-out log. And if they don’t keep you awake, what about Woody the Woodpecker? TapTapTap, TaptAptaP, TAptAPTaP, TapTapTap … ad infinitum. That would make the sap rise….

  4. JW, I've just read about Rangers being put into administration. I know you are a keen supporter, so I'm fingers crossed and hoping the problem is quickly resolved.


  5. ~ And how's John? ~

  6. Expat Says:

    Fractured collar bone. In some discomfort.

  7. JW10 Says:

    Thanks for your comments, CI.

    These are indeed dark days for all concerned at Rangers. No one seems to know what will happen next. To outsiders it is hard to explain the passion for football in these parts. For some people Rangers are their life.

    Hope you're still spoiling John, Expat.

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