Six degrees of Bacon and a slice of Hudson

It’s a small world, right enough. Film buffs have long linked Kevin Bacon to every other star in Hollywood. Quite a complex game and too hard for me to explain, try reading this.

A little known fact about me was that in my younger days I dated Goldie Hawn. She was in Scotland filming and I got introduced to her. One thing led to another and we were an item. The romance didn’t last long as she had to go back to the USA. These were the days before mobile phones, e-mail, Skype and other technical marvels. We parted amicably, although I was the more upset. Eventually I got my life back on track and lived happily ever after with my dearest wife.

My favourite rock band of the moment is a trio called Muse and musically they are similar to Queen. Having seen them live I can vouch that they do put on a good show. The singer/lead guitarist is called Matt Bellamy and while not having Freddie’s voice (nobody has) he is a talented musician. A good many close members of my family are chairmen and chief executives but I haven’t any, even distant relations that are rock stars. There is a musical gap in my family tree.

While chairing a board meeting the other day the discussion turned to Unit Trusts and Index-Linked funds. I wanted a supermassive black hole to swallow me up but my dreams never come true so I picked up a copy of a celebrity magazine that was lying about. Flicking through it I nearly choked on one of my yawns when I read the latest gossipy news: Matt Bellamy is seeing Kate Hudson. For years I have kept my adventures with Goldie secret not wanting to harm anyone. Now the past had caught up with me, I had forgotten Goldie had a daughter. Kate Hudson is of course, Goldie’s daughter. I called in the firm’s accountant to tote up Kate’s age with my fling with Goldie.

The jury is still out on the time scale on account of having a useless accountant and Bill Hudson might appear on the Jeremy Kyle show demanding a DNA test, however, posers abound amidst all this hullabaloo. Is Kate really mine? Will Matt marry Kate? Would Matt be my son-in-law? Will this tenuous blood link get me free tickets to Muse concerts? Where does Kevin Bacon feature in this? Is Kurt Russell a better fighter than me? I’ve a thousand and one unanswered questions so I’d best stop right now. Here is some classic Muse. Play it loud.

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18 Comments on “Six degrees of Bacon and a slice of Hudson”

  1. Expat Says:

    Muse? Oh dear God. Now I know I'm old.

    But, dear JW, I do have the distinction of being married to a man who played in the same band as Brian Jones – pre-Rolling Stones. In fact, Brian crashed on his sofa a few times. AND I went to school with Brian's sister Barbara. Glory days, as the Boss would say.

    Oh, and my neice lived across the road from the Spice Girls in London bfore they were famous. Does that count?

    And honst to God I used to know someone who went to school with Goldie.

  2. JW10 Says:

    Hello Expat,

    Wonderful comment. I’m blue with envy. (love the Springsteen reference)

    The nearest I come to the music world is I know a few Glasgow DJ’s. And I wrote the lyrics for my school’s rock band. Sadly, they never made it probably because of their music and nothing to do with the Dylanesque scripts of mine.

    That Goldie gets about, doesn’t she? If your friend ever goes to a school re-union please tell her to ask Goldie that I want my scarf back.

  3. Wow, JW!

    I confess I never had a date with Goldie Horn.

    Most of my dates said I had one, though.


  4. JW10 Says:


    Goldie Hawn has agreed to appear in a new version of The Abominable Snowman that will be filmed in Tenerife.

    Now’s your big chance to swoop and sweep Goldie off her feet, CI. Though tread carefully, Kurt Russell has got the part of the Yeti.

  5. Yes JW – of Course Kate's yours – I mean, just look at the ears…
    whereas with you, CI, one imagines attention drawn hawnily further south…

    Oh, and Muse, JW – like the trumpet. Then had terrible trauma trying to turn the bloody clip off – is this part of their act?

  6. Expat, what wondrously hallowed circles you've moved in! I suspect I've asked before, but does your Man play in public still?
    I once lived round the corner from a bloke who played in a group who appeared on 'Thank Your Lucky Stars'… (then he disappeared).

    JW – after my last comment I should mention that, whatever its hue, I'm sure your sporran is renowned throughout the land…

  7. Expat Says:

    Well, I should explain that I hail from the same hometown as Brian. And no, Dolores, my man does not play in public, unlike your George.

    By all accounts, Brian was not the kind of bloke one took home to meet the parents. The girls loved him, Mum and Dad not so much. Still, I cling o my vicarious claim to fame.

    Hey, I also spent an evening (with others) in the company of one of The Shadows…little blond guy, can't remember his name.

  8. Hello All,

    My partner Kathy has a sister who has a granddaughter who has a lead dance role in ”Fame” (the musical), which is currently on tour in Ireland. She’s the redhead in the photo in the link below:

    And that's my link to Fame (double pun intended).

  9. JW10 Says:

    I only wear red, white and blue sporrans, Dolores and glad to hear your clip has stuck. We’ll brainwash the Muse into you.

    Expat- If your hubby has any old sound recordings (I’m thinking cassette tape) of his band with Brian Jones, they’d be worth a fortune. About fifteen years back a tape surfaced of Freddie Mercury singing in a pre-Queen band (Ibex was their name) and the owner of this piece of history sold it to Queen Productions Limited for a tidy sum. High in the five figures I was told on good authority.
    Time for you to turn the house upside down searching for tapes, photos, flyers etc.
    Don’t forget to vote first.

    Three exuberant photographs of the budding star in the link, CI. The girl is well on her road to Fame.

  10. Expat and the delightful blond Shadow – did he do The Dance?
    And JW's tapes idea of your husband playing with Brian Jones – when you've made riches from them, can we hear them on here please?

    Blimey CI, what stunning photos of Kathy's gorgeous family flame-haired!

    JW – you Fiend!

  11. By the way, JW, is your birthday Nowish?

  12. JW10 Says:

    Soonish, DD, be patient. However, early presents are always most welcome.

  13. Dolores – I have consulted my astrological charts which indicate that JW will celebrate and enjoy lots of presents on the third day after the next New Moon, which is the day of the week named by us Old English after the Germanic god Tiw, as in Tiwsdaeg.


  14. Ha hah! Not Wodensdaeg or Thunresdaeg then? (or confused Thorsdaeg depending upon your landing site)…
    So – when can the next moon be, one wonders – could it be this very next moonday?
    Enormous pressy en route, JW!

  15. Gooddaeg Dolores!

    Confusingly, the night of the next New Moon is on Saeterndaeg. But I think the big celebration is three days later, on Tiwsdaeg. Even more confusingly, us Old English would call it 9/11, but the Americans wouldn't.

    I've now got a major anxiety attack. What if my astrological charts are wrong? Do I know what daeg it is?


  16. Understandable anxiety, CI, for so much depends upon the verity of they charts…

    Anyway, thanks to CI's dodgy consultations, JW, present should arrive on time (handle with care and caution)

  17. JW10 Says:

    You folks are making me cry. Here you are discussing my birthday in olde Englishe. Huv ye no’ herd a Glesgae eh?

    I’ll tell you a little story that happens to me all the time. As you all know I am incredibly young looking and sometimes the doormen in various club establishments that I frequent ask me for my age. In Britain, unlike the States, it is customary and I think logical to use our method of stating aging i.e. start from the smallest denominator and gradually work your way up; the day, month, year formula. No sooner have I blurted out 9/11 before I can get to the year they stop me and refuse entry while saying something like.
    “That’s right, pick an easy to remember date. Next you’ll be telling us 25/12.”

  18. Hail Youthful JW! I thought you were crying from Emotion, but No, it's the despicable lack of Olde Scottish!
    Oh well, I'm humming a merry Scottish pipers' tune instead…

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