The ad’s have it, the ad’s have it

Recently I have been bombarded with advertisers wanting to promote their products on this page. Blogger has a facility in its software to enable Adsense. This monetary function has captured the hearts of many bloggers and their page is cluttered up with branded wares.

So far I have rejected out of hand this easy way to make money because I have got scruples (sounds like something contagious, doesn’t it?) and abhor product placement in TV shows, films etc. One more thing that is off-putting is I would have no control over these adverts. Heaven knows what could appear. If on the other hand I had a say on what is being endorsed I might be persuaded to sponsor an ad or two but Blogspot rejected my idea. Apparently Rangers and Queen are not high on their list of hits and I don’t suppose many would click on a Nacho Novo link.

Another problem with adverts is that they would be more interesting than the blog itself. I mean let’s face it, if a photo of George Clooney with a Savile Row suit was at the side of this page you wouldn’t be reading this babble. But like the good old BBC I have declined the overtures of the commercial market.

Some TV adverts are brilliantly made and are a kind of art. I always liked the Milk Tray adventure. A James Bond type guy would run a gauntlet of dangerous missions to deliver the chocolate to a beautiful woman while the tagline read all because the Lady loves Milk Tray. When I was young I imagined I was the guy and believe it or not I grew up to be that man; my dreams came true.
Let me explain.
This was a poem I published originally on My Telegraph. A tale of my wife’s gnawing hunger for chocolate. I don’t like repeating (unlike the good old BBC) but this might be new to some. Milk Tray Man, eat your heart out.


So I’m leaping down the stairs
Four at a time
Pushing neighbours out of the way
Only one thing on my mind
Out on the road I run
Linford without the lunchbox
Grunting like a Sharapova forehand
As I hare it down the block
Turn the corner, the local shop is closed
In my tracks I froze
Gotta get a bus!

The bus is full and I don’t get a seat
I’m out of breath and have sore feet
My spirit is diminished
Will this mission be accomplished?
I get off at the high street stop
Run again to the candy shop

At the shop there’s a huge queue
This ordeal is hurting me thru and thru
Then I forget what she wanted
My mind’s a blank; I’m haunted
Was it Snickers or Milky Way?
Was it Galaxy or Milk Tray?
Was it Black Magic or Bounty?
I can’t think for the life of me
Was it a Mars Bar or a Star Bar?
Was it Rolo or Aero?
Crunchie or Munchies?
Toblerone, Kit Kat or Yorkie?
How can I get out of this quandary?
If I take her back a Toffee Crisp
She will give me a Glasgow kiss

I’ve got it! This will make her day
You can’t go wrong with Ferrero Rocher

As a wise man once said “Chocolate is chocolate is chocolate” and all’s well that ends well. I was thinking of ending with a George Clooney photo but here’s something far more fulfilling.

Break out the bubbly and choccies if that’s your poison. As for me, I will be having a few drams to go with my beers. Happy New Year to everyone when it comes. I hope in 2010 all your dreams come true.

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5 Comments on “The ad’s have it, the ad’s have it”

  1. Expat Says:

    I'm not a “gotta have chocolate” kind of person myself. My taste in munchies runs more to the savoury. BUT…I do rather like the chocs that come with the really good liquid fillings like drambuie, brandy, whisky and so forth.

    If I make it to midnight, which is doubtful, then my glass will contain single malt and a little water(no ice please, we're British)and I will drink to your very good health! Unfortunately The Balvenie is all gone (I should never have taken it to that party)so I shall have to make do with a run-of-the-mill 12-year-old. Still Glenfiddich beats bourbon any day.


  2. JW10 Says:

    Hello Expat,

    I've also got a bottle of Glenfiddich waiting patiently for the New Year's bells besides two dozen or so McEwan's Exports.
    For the next evening when I rise again (probably the 3rd of Jan) there's two bottles of Irn-Bru -a hangover cure that works.

    Best wishes to your good self and have a Happy, Happy New Year.

  3. Brilliant Blog, JW! I loved it.

    And a very happy New Year to you!

  4. JW10 Says:

    Hello Canary Islander,

    Happy New Year to you.

    Thank you for the kind words and I'm looking forward to reading some of your entertaining blogs. Here's to another year of Happy Blogging. 🙂

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